DESPITE
Today's reading: 2 Kings 15-17

"Yes, they worshiped idols, despite the Lord's specific and repeated warnings." 2 Kings 17:12 NLT

Despite-in defiance of; knowing it will cause annoyance, upset or hurt; in spite of.

Oh Lord,

I'm guilty of the same sins Israel committed.

Idolatry. Mis-placed trust. Divided heart. Rejection of You.

Yes, rejection--isn't that what spite is?

Isn't that what happens each and every time You ask and I refuse?

Isn't that what occurs when I hear You speak to my heart, I see the path/choice/opportunity You have provided and I say, 'No, thanks.'

I take it upon myself to know better than You.

I see myself as having a clearer, better picture of the situation than You.

I push You to the side and do things my way.

And that hurts You.

It breaks Your heart.

It separates us from each other.

It distracts me from all You desire me to have.

Hurting You hurts me--only I don't see it when it happens.

I'm so sorry, God.