HOW JACOB FELT
Today's reading: Genesis 32-34

"...There is no reason for you to be so kind to me, Jacob insisted." Genesis 33:15 NLT

Jacob was afraid to return to his homeland because of all he had done as a young man.

He had cheated his brother.

He had lied to his father.

He had connived a plan to win a birthright and a blessing that wasn't his.

And now he was returning home.

He knew he deserved nothing from Esau. Nothing at all. Well, nothing except bitterness, anger, hatred and distrust.

And here we find Esau reaching out in love? Offering to help? Accepting Jacob and his family with open arms?

Jacob had a hard time accepting it.

We do too, don't we?

We are showered with blessings from the very hand of God, and we are afraid to enjoy them because we are so undeserving.

We are given grace upon grace to cover our sins, and we hesitate accepting it because we know the filth of our transgressions.

We are surrounded by people who need us and have been sent by God to help us walk this pilgrim's path, and we keep them at arm's length too scared they will find out about the real us--the real, faulty, as-far-from-a-super-hero-as-we-could-be us.

We are gifted with God's love, God's amazing, life-changing love, and we desire to stay in the shallow end of it rather than jump in with both feet because we know we don't deserve it.

We get how Jacob felt, don't we?

But what if, for today, we chose to gather all He gives us with both arms and hold it tight?

What if we accepted all He had to offer us?

What if we allowed fellow believers in to our lives and hearts?

What if we loved God back, yes even in our inadequate and imperfect way?