BARZILLAI
Today's reading: 2 Samuel 15-19

"³¹ Barzillai of Gilead had come down from Rogelim to escort the king across the Jordan. ³² He was very old—eighty years of age—and very wealthy. He was the one who had provided food for the king during his stay in Mahanaim. ³³ “Come across with me and live in Jerusalem,” the king said to Barzillai. “I will take care of you there.”
³⁴ “No,” he replied, “I am far too old to go with the king to Jerusalem. ³⁵ I am eighty years old today, and I can no longer enjoy anything. Food and wine are no longer tasty, and I cannot hear the singers as they sing. I would only be a burden to my lord the king. ³⁶ Just to go across the Jordan River with the king is all the honor I need! ³⁷ Then let me return again to die in my own town, where my father and mother are buried. But here is your servant, my son Kimham. Let him go with my lord the king and receive whatever you want to give him.”
³⁸ “Good,” the king agreed. “Kimham will go with me, and I will help him in any way you would like. And I will do for you anything you want.”  2 Samuel 19:31-38 NLT

I've always hovered over this section of Scripture each year when my reading plan takes me to it. I've probably written on it a half-dozen times, each time with a new focus or thought.

Like this morning.

I get, as a mother, wanting more for my child than what I'm offered.

I get, as a recipient of amazing grace, how much has been poured into my life and so want that for another.

I get, some days more than others, the enormity of His love for me in all that He has blessed me with.

What I see this morning, though? This is a problem I'm needing to address in my own life...

Barzillai didn't want to exhaust David's resources by asking his blessing on both himself and for his son. He didn't want to make a nuisance of himself or his son. He didn't know how much of a blessing David was willing to give.

I do the same thing with God.

I ask, thinking His resources are limited.

I ask quietly, thinking I am too forward with my requests.

I ask weakly, thinking I haven't the right.

I ask without expectation, thinking, no, knowing, I deserve absolutely nothing on my own merits.

But this morning I realize I'm asking of the One who created all there is. He has no limits. He has no boundaries. He has more love, grace, blessings and mercy to bestow on His asking children than we can fathom.

I don't have to cipher in my mind or heart how much He will or can give--I just have to ask!