BUT...
Today's reading: 2 Chronicles 33-36

"However, the people still sacrificed at the pagan shrines, but only to the Lord their God." 2 Chronicles 33:17 NLT

Lord,

I asked You for something to renew my mind.

I asked for You to provide me with something to change my thinking.
 
I asked You to give me a word to share, only after it touched my heart and soul.

I asked, and this was in the 'fine print' of my prayer--that what You opened in my heart not hurt too badly.

It did. It cut. It exposed. It spot-lighted a part of me that I'd just as soon have kept in the shadows.

Your Word has shown me how very easily I have allowed sin to settle in my heart.

How easily I can add a 'but' to any of my attempts and make them sound sincere and righteous.

The people in Manasseh's time kept their pagan shrines, but worshipped God there--thinking it would okay a slight bit of disobedience(2 Chronicles 32:12). The people thought if they'd put a 'church spin' on a wordly thing, it would make it look good in Your eyes. The rules You gave them they followed--mostly.

That opened my eyes to what I'm doing myself. What I'm trying to make permissible. What I'm trying to re-name. What I'm attempting to gussy-up and make godly. What I take a whack at thinking it's good enough, close enough or at least better than Sister So-And-So's attempt at it. What I know You are calling me to do but (oooh, there's that word), I don't do because I see the circumstances as not warranting full and complete obedience(You understand, don't You, Lord? I mean, if things were different. If it didn't involve You-know-who.).

When I read this verse, Lord, I saw that in so many ways my disobedience to Your commands screams, 'I know better than You!'

That's not sitting well on my heart. It's making me uncomfortable. It's exposing a naked truth--one I'd have just as soon kept the wraps on.

So, for giving me just what I didn't think I wanted in a package I'd just have soon not had to open--thank You, Lord.

Thank You.